Going with the Flow

Jill was a successful person in every way.  She loved her job as a business professional and was on the top of her game in her life, and, as many people like Jill she had a bucket list.  

On that list was a desire to sing a song on a stage and feel the joy and freedom singing brings.  

She came to see me with huge enthusiasm that this would be like everything in her life – if she applied herself and pushed hard she would succeed.  

When Jill first stood in front of me with an abundance of energy I asked her to take some slow breaths and to look around and notice where she was. 

This might’ve been Jill’s first cue that this might not be as easy as it seems, slowing down wasn’t really Jill’s speed.  

She wanted it fast and now.  It was then that I saw the first signs of frustration and disappointment in her eyes and body mannerisms. 

‘This is not starting well,’ I could almost hear her saying.  

The next exercise was to inhale a breath and exhale out a sigh to get the air and the voice to connect.  And again.  And again, breathe in and open the mouth and sigh out a nice full sounding sigh.  

Jill’s second clue that this was not going the way she planned, and my clue as to how much tension she had in her body. 

Then I asked her to sing a simple phrase which she did and put her all into it again revealing the ‘inner pusher’ at its best.  She repeated the phrase a few times and each time Jill attacked that phrase like it was the last thing she would do.  

And then I said the thing that topped it all off, ‘what are you noticing in your body?’  

In that moment it was as though Jill had not considered the possibility that she had a body and that someone should ask her to notice it.  Her body was filled with tension, rigidity and unbeknownst to her locked in a fight mode.  

She told me that she didn’t really feel her body, she knew it was there but she didn’t know what she felt and looked at me like I was crazy.  Another clue to me that her body was a machine and not an instrument for her beautiful voice.  

Now I think you all get it by now.  You know them, maybe you’re one of them, a perfectionist with a strongly developed inner pusher and critic that keeps you moving through life.  

I certainly know this for myself and understand how pushing and working hard to sing creates a wall of defences which can look and sound successful to the world.

This wall doesn't create beauty and flow in my voice or my life.

It creates a deep grip within the body that can take years to undo and unwind. It took many years before I began to turn the Titanic around within me and undo the pushing of myself in everything that I do, including singing.

There is an appropriate protection that happens with most people in their daily lives but when it comes to singing and voice training that protection or defences just doesn’t work.  

Singing requires us to let go of control and to balance our energy for us to allow for an inner flow of energy in the voice rather than a pushing of that inner flow.

We are all walking around with many defences that for some look like Jill, highly functioning and ‘in control‘, others it might look like a shyness or introversion or being ‘out of control‘, or there might be a blankness and an impersonal removed stance in life, which is ‘an abdication of this control.‘  

Defences and operating systems came in when we were quite young and aren’t going anywhere unless we heal these parts of ourselves and undergo an inner re-negotiation process.  

Training to be a singer is like training to be a martial artist or a buddhist monk or maybe the two put together, or so it can feel.

We need to try yet can’t try too hard.

We need to focus and work, but not too much.

We need to have some control and work but don’t overwork.  

We need to feel our body and open every part of us but also stay contained and focussed.  Yeesh!

Becoming a master at anything requires this kind of focus and attention. 

The tone of the voice needs a balance of light and dark, yin and yang, treble and bass which is then reflected outside of us through the sound of the voice.  This outer balancing requires an inner balancing of ourselves first and foremost.  

We live in an instant gratification society and we want for it to happen right now, but don't want to do the work that is necessary for this mastery to happen naturally.  Training the voice in the way that I speak of here is not for the faint of heart.  

To be a singer is a full meal deal, body, mind and spirit.  

We have to become blank slates for our voice to be able to move around inside of us like we are the building and our voice is the elevator.  

The elevator of the voice moves up and down inside of us without the building helping or hindering this flow, but simply allowing.   

We need to be empty of judgements but full of willingness and emotional intelligence.  

We need to be curious scientists lovingly looking within for the answers.  And most of all a deep need to want to awaken to who and what we truly are. 

And yes of course Jill can just get up there and belt out a song and check it off her bucket list, why not anyone can, everyone has a voice and we can all sing.  

There is no need for anyone to do what I speak of here unless they are really called to evolve, expand and to welcome a whole new paradigm for their life.

This new paradigm of openness is what is then expressed through the beauty and flowing nature of the voice. 

Any takers?